Joke Of The Day



No Children Allowed!


I really need a sign that reads, “If you’re not at least 35 years old, please walk away. I have had 21 year old clients before and no matter how cute they are, I certainly don’t prefer them. I prefer 35+. However, so many of my inquires are from what I would consider young adults.

If you’re reading this and your 20’s, just know that while I’m absolutely flattered at your admiration,anything under 35 just won’t work. It just won’t cut the mustard. A girl like me requires a certain level of maturity and no offense to anyone but at the tender young age of 21, you just don’t have it yet.

P.S. Even though I won’t take you on as a client, take solace in knowing that there is somebody out there that will.

Does Size Really Matter?


After hillariously laughing at the picture posted above, the age old question ran across my mind: Does size really matter? Well yes and no!

Let me break this down so you fellas understand it. Assuming you’re not on the polar ends of the spectrum; the size of Ms. Vega’s pinky finger or my forearm, you’re good. Again, if you’re a fellow of average size, for most women this is acceptable. Provided you have a great stroke AND you’re not a two minute brother, there’s no worries.

Now, if you’re a gentleman who wasn’t blessed in that department, have no fear! You just better have a GREAT tongue and AWESOME wallet!

Quite honestly, if I had to have sex every day, I’d prefer an average one because it’s less of a chore. No sensible woman wants to be raveged everyday by a horse cock. It’s not good for everyday but ideal for a one night stand or a fling. In my profession, I much prefer an average sized penis or one on the smaller side. Why, because they’re easier to work with. That’s just my two cents!